Bones, Shadows and Flames
by FracturedLittleWishes
Summary: Meh, random oneshots from a deranged mind, mine XD  Friendships, Ganith, Fletyrie, Valduggery, Chinduggery the whole shebang!
1. Camisado, Panic at the Disco

**_Not much to say, except I don't like Truth or Dare. It's fun but the dares are so easy, I've never backed down once and never will. But Truthes, they're the ones I have trouble with..._**

* * *

"Truth or Dare!"

"Oh God."

Tanith pulled Valkyrie out of the chair. "C'mon Val, it'll be fun!"

"How'd you work that one out?"

"Gah, you're such a kill joy."

"True lives of the fabulous Killjoys!"

"I have no idea what that is."

"I do."

"I gathered."

"Well done."

"You still have to play."

"ARGH!"

Skulduggery watched as the two of the argued. It was like a tennis mach. Left, right, Tanith, Valkyrie. Somehow Tanith seemed to win, although he wasn't sure of the points system in the game, but by the way Valkyrie fell onto the floor suggested she lost. So he followed and sat in the circle with Fletcher and Ghastly.

Fletcher pulled himself up and sat next to Valkyrie, arm around her.

Ghastly watched him and tried with Tanith, and got hit in the nose as she bounded up from the floor.

"Ow."

"Sorry, but we need a hat."

She looked expectantly at Skulduggery.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Why."

"There are many reasons."

"All rubbish." Piped up Valkyrie. As she grabbed the hat.

"No one asked your opinion pip squeak."

In return he got a glare and she retreated back into Fletcher's arms.

"Ok, everyone write their names on a piece of paper, fold it up and put it in the hat."

"My hat." Skulduggery said curtly.

"Yes, it is." Tanith stuck her tongue out at him.

Once everyone had done that, Tanith started rummaging around for a piece of paper.

Skulduggery watched, ready to snatch it back if it was in any danger.

"It's Ghastly! Right truth or dare?"

"Erm, dare?"

10 minuets and 5 worms later, Tanith happily announced Ghastly had completed the task. "You can close your mouth now Ghastly."

"Ok, thank you."

"Valkyrie it's your turn!"

"Great."

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth." Fletcher groaned, "Aw really wanted to see you eat some worms."

She hit him.

"Ok. Here we go Vally."

Valkyrie watched as Tanith tried to think. Her stomach did a flip when she saw her friend grin wickedly.

"Valkyrie Cain."

"Yes?"

"I'm going to ask you a question."

"That's what you usually do."

"Are you ready?"

"God, YES HURRY UP!"

"Are you….a virgin?"

Valkyrie felt her eyes go wide, and her face turned red. Sheepishly she turned to look at Fletcher who had gone a shade of tomato.

Tanith's mouth dropped open. "OH MY GOD!"

* * *

_**-_-'**_


	2. But it's Better if You Do, PatD

**_Mleh! Next bit coz I haven't done anything in a few days. If you're wondering why the chapters sometimes have nothing to do with the names. It's just songs I like. Some might, some won't XP_**

* * *

Skulduggery was sat next to Valkyrie in the front of his Bentley, and for the first time he wished he wasn't. Her face was an alarming shade of red and she looked fit to explode.

"He's not my boyfriends Skul," she fumed. "He just happens to be a BOY who just happens to be my FRIEND! OK? They are completely different things."

He opened his mouth to speak.

"No listen! I want to make sure I'm absolutely clear on this 'coz I don't want you, Ravel, Ghastly, Shudder or anyone else of your little friends thinking there is anything whatsoever going on with me a Caelan. Ok? You know what. They're your friends and they're boys, so I guess they're your boyfriends if I use your way of thinking. So, yeah, we're not OK?"

She paused a moment for breath.

"You know what? This is Caelan Ok? Right, yeah," she held up her finger. "And this, this is boyfriend status," she held up the same finger on her other hand. "And this is how the two of them are!" She held the two as far away as possible. "There you see that? But this is it with Fletcher, yeah FLETCHER!" She put the two fingers close to each other. "So, you just go tell your little friends that nothing is going on between us. Just friends, OK?"

She sat back in the chair. He thought she'd finished and opened his mouth to speak.

"JUST FRIENDS!" She screeched.

She sat back down and jumped back up, reaching into her jacket pocket. She pulled out a packet of crisps.

"Ok, I'll prove it to you," she was really mad now. "This, this is what I think of Caelan being my boyfriend." She put them on the dashboard and raised her hand. She brought it smacking down on them, again and again. Skulduggery winced at the noise of the crisps smashing. "Argh!" She screamed "OK!" She sat back, breathing heavily.

Skulduggery waited a few minuets to make sure she wasn't going to go into crazy mode, again. He cleared his throat. "Erm, actually Valkyrie I was going to ask if you would pass me the map."

She stared at him. "Oh."

* * *

**_Bye! oxoxoxo NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA! _**


	3. The Pros and Cons of Breathing, FOB

**_Another little thing from me XD MERRY CHRISTMAS!_**

* * *

Clarabelle sat.

She was in the house she'd grown up in. No one lived here, well not anymore.

The family that _had_ were nice.

Clarabelle stood, her bear feet crunching over the broken glass. She didn't even wince.  
Not that it didn't hurt; no, she could feel every bit of glass that stuck in the soles. But she didn't cry because this was what she deserved.

She tried, but she wasn't strong enough.

She'd broken in through the window.

The Remnant used her memories it saw all her happy memories from here, and made them ugly.

It used her.

So, no Clarabelle didn't wince. Unlike the family.

They cried and screamed and begged.

Her arms were red.

Her pretty dress, the one with the fairies on, was red.

Skulduggery and Valkyrie had thought they'd got rid of the Remnants, but not hers.

She'd been away from that nasty machine that killed her family. She'd heard their screams in her head, so she was a bit bitter about it.

Clarabelle picked up a frame from the fireplace. It was of the family.

They dad hugging his wife while she cradled a baby in her arms. The youngest girl with the blonde curls was on her dad's back, her face in a happy grin. The oldest brother awkwardly smiling towards the camera with a little boy climbing on his shoulders.

This picture must have been taken a while ago, because they didn't look like that now.

Clarabelle could remember them so well, she'd never met them, but Kenspeckle had always told her you learnt more about a person in the last few moments before death than you do in their entire life. So in a way, she knew them better than anyone.

She stroked the picture, leaving blood smeared across their faces.

Now they looked like how Clarabelle knew them.

* * *

**_:/ Slightly more morbid than some of my others I'll admit but, there you go..._**


	4. Undercover Lover, Kids In Glass Houses

**_A little bit of Fletchyrie 'coz I'm back and feeling 100 times better :) Awww I love Fletchyrie...so cute :3_**

* * *

Valkyrie Cain grumbled as she stared at the clock on her bedside cabinet.

"Why? Fletch, why?"

"Because you always complain if your parents see me whisk you away to amazing places and not bring you back for days."

"Well who wouldn't?"

"Oh, so New York wasn't amazing then? Or Paris? Rome?"

It was true, if she was feeling grumpy or just sick of Ireland in general, he's transport her to anywhere in the world.

And she loved it; boy was it brilliant, just not at bloody 2:30 in the morning!

"So why did you think this would be any better?" She said, eyebrow raised.

"Well your parents would never know."

"And what about morning when I'm not back?"

His smug grin suddenly fell from his face and he looked downcast.

"Oh yeah. I wish I had time travel too."

She laughed. "I think you're the only person in the world who complains that being able to go anywhere in the world in a split second isn't enough."

"Well admit, it would have to be me."

The both laughed. "It's fine I'll get the reflection out. So come on, where are you taking me now?"

He raised an eyebrow and put his finger to his lips, holding out his other hand.

"Oh, just tell me."

Nothing.

"Fletch! Come on."

Nada.

"FINE!"

Taking his outstretched hand she closed her eyes. When she opened them she grinned.

A golden beach stretched out in front of her, at the end and blue sea lapped against the sore. She shielded her eyes from the sudden glare of the sun.

"Oops, should have given you these before, but then that would have spoiled the surprise a bit, but oh well you're here now." He handed her a pair of sunglasses. She ignored him and stared at the beach. It was a little cove, cut off from the main beach, for it was empty. It was the most beautiful place she'd ever seen.

"Do you not like it?" He sounded worried. "I mean, I just thought that I've taken you to the big places, so something simple. But if you want we can go to Paris quickly. I don't know, it's stupid let's go."

He made to leave.

"RACE YA TO THE SEA!" She shouted at the top of her voice, not waiting for him she pelted down the sands. Panting she arrived at the waters edge.

"I won!" She turned expecting to see Fletcher running behind.

"What took you so long?" A voice asked behind her.

"No fair," she whined seeing the smug Fletcher Renn, knee deep in water. "You're supposed to _run_. That's why it's called a _race_, stupid."

"I'm stupid? You're the one who had a race with a teleporter. Oh yeah Val. 10 points for intelligence there."

Finding no argument to his words, she did the only thing she could think of. She splashed him with the water. Grinning he grabbed her by the arms and pulled her further out to sea.


	5. I Love Myself And I Wanna Live Blackout

_**I got bored and decided to take it out on you will a pure crack story, your welcome betches! XD **_

* * *

"You know what I've always wanted to do?"

"Not really."

"I've always wanted to get a huge roll of bubble wrap, roll it out in the town centre and jump on it."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Then let the bubble wrap popping commence."

* * *

**_ I told my band this, their reaction was far from the same :( le sorrow._**


	6. Backing Up  Gregory Bros

**_I have no idea honestly..._**

* * *

"Hey Mum, come look at this."

Valkyrie showed her mother the song playing currently playing on the laptop.

"Isn't it funny!"

"This song is taken from a news report that is interviewing a woman who was involved in a heist?"

"Pretty much. But it sounds hilarious!"

"She could have been killed and you're laughing?"

Valkyrie faltered. "Yeah….but it's funny!"

"It's not, what's next? Them making one about someone who got raped?"

Once she'd left the room Valkyrie muttered to herself, "Better not show her the Bed Intruder song."

* * *

_**Basically my mother's reaction to The Backing Up Song. Why does she not find the humor of the Gregory Brothers funny. Why are they called the Gregory Brothers anyway? They have a girl? Just one of life's many mysteries.**_


End file.
